Making your marriage work

Making your marriage work

After two years of marriage with Jude, Jane thought it was heaven on earth. They were a happy couple what with Jane three months gone. Jane had what every woman would dream of. A lovely husband who was faithful and comfortable and she wasn’t doing badly herself. They were both God-fearing and they knew the love they had for each other was going to take them through thick and thin or so they thought.

The next scan Jane went for revealed that a fibroid was growing alongside her baby. It was so big that the doctors were speculating if the baby was going to survive but they settled for surgery and that was when trouble started in Jane and Jude’s perfect marriage.

Jude was devastated because exactly the same thing killed his mother and the baby sister he didn’t get to know. His father wasn’t the same person again. It was like the death of his mother killed his father and so their lovely home was never the same because Jude’s father didn’t get over it till his death.

Jude made up his mind that Jane’s illness wasn’t going to bring him down like his mother’s sickness did to his father. In as much as he loved his wife and unborn child, he detached himself from her emotionally and the crack on their marriage wall got wider.
Jane didn’t understand what was happening. She needed her husband but he was nowhere to be found because he avoided her. Though she knew the same thing happened to his mum but she also knew that Jude was scared but she was helpless because Jude didn’t allow her to reach him (he started coming home late at night). Jane had to fight for her life and that of her baby alone. The day of the surgery was fast approaching and Jude’s ‘night-outs’ increased. Jane learnt how to become a better wife; she worked at her marriage and continually prayed for Jude.

On the night scheduled for the surgery, Jude was about leaving the house when he suddenly saw a picture of Jane and the doors to his emotion came loose. He suddenly realized how selfish and uncaring he had being to his wife especially now that she needed him. He remembered all what she did to talk to him; he then prayed she would survive so that they could work at their marriage together. He poured out his heart to God and he felt peace. He raced down to the hospital just as they were about wheeling Jane to the theatre and begged for her forgiveness, he also prayed that she would survive and told her he loved her. Ten hours later, Jane was in the recovery room. She miraculously survived but lost the baby in the process, but the most important thing in her life had being regained- her marriage. Jane saved her marriage herself.

See…
If you are going through a crisis in your marriage, you have to work at it. Nobody, not even God will come from heaven to work at it for you (but He will give you the know-how). A marriage in crises can only be repaired by the manufacturer, so you have to go back to Him to fix it for you. Whatever you invest in your marriage depends on what you get out of it.
To make your marriage work, you have to work on your fears and shortcomings, don’t ever think that you can change your spouse. You should be the one to change (just like Jane did). Respect each other. Respect is not a gift, it is earned. Pray for and with each other. No one can pray for your husband as much as he will pray for himself and you praying for him, viz-a-viz for the wife too.

Ciao!